April’s Poem

By Ethan Phan II

I.
I used to be tired but now I’m comfortable.

Like midnight poems and streetlight
Peeking through the window

Like starry lawns and moonlight 
Our craterous noses dipping and glistening 

Like metal flakes bedazzling the gray callouses of my hand
Like glitter

Like midnight commuter rails and the warm buzz of light
Lulling you home.

II.
Whatever happened in that church basement
Its tan walls hugging us as I pull you closer 
Like Manila folders
We’ll never grow old.

I cried that night in the living room
As my dad did pushups and I
Saw him dead, dying, why
“Nothing lasts,” he laughed
“Except gold, maybe.”

III.
My name is Nhật Huy 
Which means a beam of golden sunshine in my mother’s tongue
A language laced with the sweet scent of sweaty hugs and basil

My grandfather’s vision
Of his refugee boy and his teen bride
Of America’s dream 
Of me.

IV.
Why do I feel out of place?

Maybe it’s the son who left his country to escape the gunshots
Maybe it’s the woman telling him to go back

Maybe it’s the broken words stumbling off my mother’s teeth
Maybe it’s the glare the cashier doesn’t give her
Maybe it’s me looking a little longer just to make sure

Maybe it’s the slant in my eyes
Accenting the way I see the world

Maybe it’s the way I see the world
Maybe it’s the way I see.

Keaton Sahin II